Every day is a struggle and not a day goes by when I don't think about her at least a few times. I still catch myself reading something or seeing something and thinking to myself "I've got to tell Jenny about this!".  Some days are better than others. Some days I cry like we just lost her.

I just have to take it one day at a time and remember that she was so loved and loved so many in return.

(no subject)

Last night at 6:30 my life changed completely.
I was sitting on the couch watching TV when the phone rang. I saw it was Janet and Jennys house so I answered with a cheery hello. Jenny was on the other line and she said 'Amy?'. It sounded like she was crying. I asked what was wrong. She then said 'I think something happened' and I could tell something was seriously wrong because her speech was all slurred. I told her I'd be right there and proceeded to get Ethan together and called Janet to tell her something was wrong.

I got there just as they were breaking down the door to get into Jenny. She was talking to her neighbor through the door and said she couldn't get up. I looked into the living room and she was sitting on the floor with her back to their couch and she looked over and saw me. She waved. The right side of her face was drooping down. I said the only thing I could think of. I told her I loved her.

The paramedics took her to the hospital. By 6:30 this morning she was brain dead. 12 hours went by. That's it.

She had an aneurysm burst in her brain. She had severe bleeding on the brain that was causing a lot of pressure on her brain. Where the bleed was made it almost impossible to operate on. The only thing we could do was sit with her, talk to her, tell her how much we love her and let her go. She wasn't in pain. She looked like she was sleeping.

We decided to donate her organs. It was what she would have wanted and it gives us all a measure of peace knowing that her death will help others to live.

I still can't believe it and I honestly don't know what I'm going to do without her. She was only 35 years old. She was truly one of the kindest, gentlest people you could ever meet.

(no subject)

Oh my goodness.

The good: Did taxes last night. Getting a nice chunk'o'change back.

The bad: It snowed again last night. Blech.

The ugly: My aunt flo started a week early. Good morning to me!

(no subject)

So I was a little worried this morning that today was going to be a baaaaaaaad day.

For starters Ethan got up at 4:30am so I didn't get a whole lot of sleep.
Then I feel all grimy cause I didn't wash my hair this morning and it's in the process of growing out so it SO didn't do what I wanted it to do.
And the cherry on top is my friggin mood lately hasn't been the best and I can't figure out why for the life of me.

I get to work and I'm prepared to be a bit of an Oscar the grouch when I log into our bank page and see we have a $100 credit?!

Turns out it was a bank promo I forgot all about when we opened our account!


Maybe today won't be all bad then.



We had to dress 'business casual' at work today so no jeans.

My pants are distracting me. They're new, kinda shiny and stretchy. I keep reaching under my desk to play with them.

Yeah...that looks good.

For my mom

I remember reading this after my mom passed away.
I really love this poem.

God saw you getting tired,
And a cure was not to be.
So he put his arms around you,
And whispered “Come to me”.

With tearful eyes we watched you,
And saw you pass away.
Although we loved you dearly,
We could not make you stay.

A golden heart stopped beating,
Hard working hands to rest.
God broke our hearts
to prove to us,
He only takes the best.

By Therese Pearman

(no subject)

So I've broken the tip of my right index finger. According to the orthopedic surgeon that worked on it, I shattered it pretty good and had to have surgery on it with two pins put in.

It happened at home on a wooden folding laundry room door. I was angry and went to slam it shut and my finger got caught in the hinge. (Me and doors do not mix well at all....I also may have a bit of an anger issue).

The local finally wore off and It's VERY sore. Hence why I'm up now. I ate something and took the pain pills. Just waiting for them to kick in.